Why is it that when I have the most going on in my head, I
can’t write it down? Well… I’m going to try and it most likely won't be too cohesive, but follow along if you can.
Let me start by saying that I am
nowhere near wealthy nor do I think that wealth brings happiness. I stand firm
to this because I was not brought up in a world of money and I was never taught
that money is what makes a person secure (this is something that I’ll get into
later). Ever since graduating college, I’ve realized that money tends to be
important. I borrowed a lot and now, I owe a lot. As a 23 year old who is now 1
year out of college I find it hard to be understood in a world where money is
the motive over happiness OR that money is the answer to happiness. Not
everyone believes that happiness happens without money. I get it, but I don’t
believe it. In my happiest moments I have been with my boyfriend watching
Family Guy, with my girlfriends drinking boxed wine, playing
ridiculous/hilarious games and reminiscing on our high school days, sitting in
a warm bath and listening to Florence & the Machine with a candle lit. It
is the very simplicities of life that create happiness in my soul. It is also
those concerts that I somehow make my way to every year that come with a cost,
but leave a lifelong spot in my heart. That’s me, it’s not everyone and that is
completely OK.
My latest challenge has been balancing the very things that
bring me joy and my student loans. Why the hell am I balancing these things?
Oh! That’s right… because I CHOSE to attend a college that costs more a year
than a luxury car. TOTALLY NORMAL. I did get a great education and I don’t
regret a single second because my college experience was one that I am
eternally grateful for. Now that I’ve graduated with a degree in fashion, I’m
unsure of the direction that I want to go in. This causes a pause. A pause in
my creativity, a pause in earning money, a pause in the things I’ve learned
from one of the greatest universities… It is all so confusing. While I’m at
this pause, many things come up. Things that I want to do. Aside from my passion
for fashion, I also have a great and true love for music. When a festival comes
up I instinctively purchase a ticket. Why do I do this? Because I know that it
will bring me HAPPINESS. From experience, I also know that it brings this
adrenaline that lasts forever. When I’m sad, I can listen to certain songs that
bring back those moments where I was standing in front of Paul McCartney,
Bastille, Zedd, Blink 182, The Killers, Justin Timberlake, Empire of the Sun,
The Chainsmokers, AWOLnation, Kid Cudi, Jay Z, Kanye, Drake, Beyonce, Skrillex,
Modest Mouse, Ingrid Michaelson, Dave Matthews, John Mayer… THE LIST GOES ON
AND ON. Yea, I will spend the money that I do not have to put myself in these
moments over and over again.
In my opinion… money comes and goes. It’s always there to be
made. In the mean time put the things that bring you pure excitement first. You’ll always have to pay off something; you’ll always need to work for something.
If you leave out the things that you yearn for, you’ll lose yourself.
